Are you in Domestic Violence? Read This!

I was unaware that I was suffering from Complex PTSD from two incidents of horrific sexual assault as a young teen. I launched myself into life and landed a fantastic job, but the symptoms I was suffering from caused me to sabotage my success. The night I met my ex-husband, I was vulnerable because I had left my amazing job and was beginning to accelerate in a downward spiral due to the Complex PTSD symptoms ravaging me like a silent cancer. He was so handsome and charming. We began getting serious immediately and things were going great. One night, he flew into a rage and punched me in the face, threw me onto the floor and began to strangle me. Just when I thought my life was over, his hands loosened from around my neck. I gathered my things and walked out, telling him it was over.

But my nightmare of abuse was not over. After a couple of weeks, I lost my new job with a professor because I wanted no one to see my bruises so I did not leave the house. My ex called me begging and pleading for me to take him back and promising, of course, that he would never do anything like that again. I went back!!! Again, let me stress that I was not aware of what I was dealing with from my other traumas and I was trying to forge my way through life. The result was that I endured four long years of damaging emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual abuse from this man who claimed to love me.

When I began to think that he was poisoning my food, I had the awareness that I was losing my mind by staying with him. I began to confide in a co-worker. The meetings with him and his wife led me to gain confidence. I wrote a safe exit plan which I executed. I did this alone because the courage that my friends instilled carried me through to complete the safe exit plan. I had to leave all the furniture which was mine and since I had no vehicle (it was his) I called a cab, and the cabbie helped me put my garbage bags full of my belongings into the cab. I had secured a small studio near where I worked so that I could walk to work. I was so proud of myself.

I write this blog today for all of you reading this that are in a domestic violence situation. You do not have to be getting hit to be in a DV relationship. Emotional, mental, sexual, and spiritual abuse are REAL and leave lasting scars which take a long time to fully heal. I write this to you so that you don’t have to take as long as I did to get out. I did not reach out to anyone except my co-worker and after I left, I thought that I was fine. That was the Complex PTSD talking. It was far from the truth.

Remember this – every day that you stay you incur more damage to your mind, body, and spirit. That is why it important for you to write your safe exit plan today. Go to ariellespring.net to find resources to help you leave and leave for good.