Knowing your True Self/Developing Awareness With C-PTSD
If you would have told me that I had a “true self” when I was in the throes of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), I would have told you it was not possible – that you were lying and crazy! Today, I am constantly learning who I truly am – my strengths, my limitations, my gifts, my triggers. How did I get from then to now
Staying curious about your “true self” will go a lot further than wanting the end result NOW. It is in curiosity – the openness of wanting to know yourself that things will start to unfold. I wish I could tell you that you do step 1, 2, and 3 and you are there. But realistically, it is a journey. Sometimes you might get weary, but you know what I always tell you – YOU CAN DO IT – KEEP GOING – DON’T STOP - YOU ARE WORTH IT. Below I map out some mileposts for your journey.
Mileposts to Awareness = Healing = Knowing True Self
Willingness to look at yourself (your whole self) without judgment
Noticing patterns of reactions (triggers)
Noticing how old you feel when in above reactions (triggers)
Letting the specific aged part remember event causing reaction
Asking that part how it feels or what it wants to tell you about event
Sitting with the child part experiencing the event (trauma) while you are in your “healthy or true self”
Beginning to re-parent child part (s) by various ways, e.g. holding, reassuring, nurturing, seeing, valuing and supporting, protecting, giving them what they didn’t get before
When you begin to get a glimpse of who you truly are – you are developing a sense of awareness. This awareness will enable you to begin to identify triggers that tend to pull you back into C-PTSD symptoms. Through your awareness of triggers, you can begin to heal.
How I heal through developing awareness and strengthening my true self is by identifying child parts and begin to engage with them. If your child parts are like mine, they may not have been seen or felt valued and they begin to feel like they were not worthy. It is so rewarding to sit with them and let them tell you how they feel about the traumas they went through. You will begin to be able to identify where they are stuck and how to give them the tools to re-gain their power and evolve. You must have patience though because sometimes, at least for me, you may run into child parts that are hiding or reticent to come out to engage with you. I have found that letting them know that you see them and are here for them (something they may not have experienced at all or very little) will work wonders to develop a safe space that eventually they will feel comfortable to come forward.
This process can sound arduous and overwhelming, especially if you are living with C-PTSD. I recommend you set aside an amount of time during your week that feels doable for you. Also, you may find that working with a Life Coach who is knowledgeable in this can be of great help.
Remember – it’s a journey and YOU ARE WORTH IT.
