PTSD Warning Signs

Have you experienced trauma and are suffering from any or all of the following?

• Physical Pain

• Nightmares or Flashbacks

• Depression or Anxiety

• Withdrawal or Isolation

• Avoidance

• Repression

• Emotional Numbing

• Hyperarousal

• Irritability.

• Guilt and Shame

I suffered from everything on the list above for over two decades as I spiraled into a pit of darkness where I ended up not being able to work, being financially dependent on my parents, isolated from social settings, unable to drive and barely eating.

 I had deluded myself that I could get better on my own and was oblivious to my decline.  It was like I was in a glass room and could see outside that everyone was going about their lives, but I was locked inside that room and did not have the key!

These symptoms did not occur all at once, but over a long period of time.

Initially, I withdrew from being nominated for homecoming queen and all of the extra-curricular school activities.  I refused to date anyone from my class and chose boyfriends from other cities.  I was able to physically show up for classes, but could not concentrate, so I began delegating my homework to my boyfriend in order to graduate.  

After I managed to graduate from high school, I went into further escape from my life by marrying someone that I did not know very well as a boyfriend let alone a potential husband.  I was able to move forward in my personal life by landing a great job, so that accomplishment thwarted me from seeing that I was in the grips of PTSD.   Things slowly started to erode from that point and by the time I was 24 y.o. I would find myself jobless and homeless.  

PTSD does not improve if you do nothing and like many mental health illnesses, it will ‘tell you’ that you’re fine and do not need help.  Stay tuned to this blog to see how self care can be an anecdote to PTSD.